Saturday, 13 October 2012

Parallel Universe

I found further evidence this morning of the parallel universe inhabited by Carmarthenshire Council. Members of the public, and bloggers for that matter, have long given up any hope that the council website, or the council, will provide spending details, registers of Members' business interests, a Freedom of Information disclosure log, etc etc. However, a whole new web page appeared yesterday which instructs us on the correct way to address royalty. Worst still, it comes under the section 'Council and Democracy'.

The page concerns the Lord Lieutenant of Dyfed, who's mystifying and silent appearance appeared at the Council's AGM back in May, along with several other unknown dignitaries, led Caebrwyn to believe she'd stumbled upon a fancy dress party.

It appears from the information our Council has so usefully supplied that he is yet another brick in the wall of our impenetrable civic establishment with a duty to 'uphold the dignity of the Crown'. Dear me.

As if this information wasn't enough we are informed that if we require his services to escort royal visitors around Carmarthenshire we should contact the 'Clerk to the Lord-Lieutenant', a Mr Mark James at the Carmarthenshire Lieutenancy Office, Spilman Street, Carmarthen, Ruritania.

An extremely handy FAQ section follows where we are instructed as to the correct address for the esteemed gentleman covering no less than four different scenarios, we also discover, under the heading 'How does one get appointed as a Lord Lieutenant' that as long as one is resident in the County, one may be chosen by one's sovereign....

Just in case one bumps into one's sovereign the Council also advises us how to address their royalnesses,

"For the Queen: Your Majesty on the first occasion and Ma’am thereafter. Other female members of the Royal Family who hold the title of Her Royal Highness: Your Royal Highness on the first occasion and then Ma’am.
For male members of the Royal Family who hold the title His Royal Highness: Your Royal Highness on the first occasion and Sir thereafter."

Unfortunately there's no video demonstration on extreme forelock tugging, which I'm sure would have come in handy.
And just in case anyone feels that any more of our civic dignitaries should be honoured, knighted or made a peer of the realm, commonwealth and empire, they have supplied an indispensable guide to this too.

One is flabbergasted.


Award-winning blogger Owen Donovan has written a brilliant piece this morning on his blog, Oggy Bloggy Ogwr. I can't do it justice in a summary so I strongly suggest you all have a read....there is particular interest to those of us living in the feudal kingdom of Carmarthenshire;


Cneifiwr said...

How does one address a Council Chief Executive?

Anonymous said...

Cneifiwr - I guess Mr. James CBE should be addressed as Commander and Chief. (See what I did there?)

If anyone was wondering how Messers James and Gilbert were nominated for their gongs, the fact Mr. James works directly on behalf of the person making the nomination is not a bad place to start.

Cneifiwr said...

More Ruritanian news just in. Old Grumpy reports that John 'Cwmbetws' Davies, the former leader of Pembrokeshire County Council, is being "lined up" as High Sheriff of the non-existent county of Dyfed. Davies left quite a mess behind in Haverfordwest, where they are still shovelling away.

There is a silver lining here. With all of these worthies working their little trotters off to get a gong, the ludicrous honours system is being dragged into even greater disrepute.

If you're reading this, Lord Lieutenant, can we have some knighthoods dished out next? Perhaps Charles and Camilla could pop along to a council meeting and do a mass investiture.

Tessa said...

Actually, Mark James is called "Chief" but at least one of his assistants, if not widely. I know as I got sent by accident an email meant for MJ in response to a query placed by Carms Ratepayers.